"Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment" (evanmcm)
11/21/2016 at 01:29 • Filed to: Bmw, m5, e60, v10, mpower, bangle, black, SMG
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"Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment" (evanmcm)
11/21/2016 at 01:29 • Filed to: Bmw, m5, e60, v10, mpower, bangle, black, SMG | 9
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Cars certainly are a pain in the ass. They demand all your time, all your money, then ask for more. And that’s why I’ve gone and bought myself one of the most sensible, practical and reliable vehicles offered for sale in recent years.
Wait, no...I’ve got that all wrong. What I meant to say was, I’ve bought a 2008 BMW M5, and it is none of those things. And that’s why I’ve purchased it.
The fuel mileage is, at best, half of what I was getting before. It’s already demanding maintenance. The cold-start, I’m certain, wakes up people in the next town. It despises cold weather, which we have quite a bit of where I live. At any point, it could all go horribly wrong. And I’m completely in love.
I am working on a longer, more in-depth piece to post here soon, but this will have to do for now. I had planned a series of write-ups, as things go along. But I’m not certain I will be visiting this site much longer, as for the third time I have been soft-banned by the spineless imbeciles that edit the main site. Apparently they don’t like me very much, and to be honest I dislike them quite a bit at this point so I suppose we’re even. I’m a better writer than all of them anyway. I do enjoy reading Oppo from time to time, and perhaps I will stick around here.
I had always wanted to share the experiences I’ve had with an interesting vehicle on here, and now that I finally own one again, my intent is to entertain at least a few of you. Hopefully you will see this piece soon.
Until then - don’t let anyone tell you that your car should be practical. That is basically communism, after all.
TFen
> Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment
11/21/2016 at 01:32 |
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Congrats you crazy motha fucka
TheHondaBro
> Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment
11/21/2016 at 01:42 |
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40 valves all tied to an iffy valve timing system...
Fuck it, the E60 is the best M5.
Chasaboo
> Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment
11/21/2016 at 01:53 |
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How much is BMW paying you for your prose?
DipodomysDeserti
> Chasaboo
11/21/2016 at 07:33 |
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I don’t think BMW cares if people buy used cars. In fact, writing about this mess of an engine is probably a detriment to BMW.
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Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment
> Chasaboo
11/21/2016 at 15:43 |
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Unfortunately negotiations broke down almost entirely after I submitted what I thought was a reasonable request to have all repairs & maintenance covered for the rest of my life. They responded by saying “how much money do you think we make?!”
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Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment
> TheHondaBro
11/21/2016 at 15:44 |
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As far as I can tell the VANOS issues are largely in the pre-LCI cars (06-07), and can be avoided by simply treating the car properly. Still a chance it could go but I’m prepared for that.
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Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment
> TFen
11/21/2016 at 15:45 |
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Thank you sir, you’re invited to my new cell at the poorhouse any time to come look at it.
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Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment
> DipodomysDeserti
11/21/2016 at 15:48 |
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I’ll tell you what, not much compares to this engine at WOT.